Princess Recovery by Jennifer L. Hartstein

Author:Jennifer L. Hartstein [Hartstein, Jennifer L.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS / Parenting / Child Rearing, FAMILY & RELATIONSHIPS / Parenting / General
ISBN: 9781440531835
Publisher: Adams Media
Published: 2011-07-15T00:00:00+00:00

AGE-APPROPRIATE SOLUTIONS FOR THE “ENTITLEMENT” SYMPTOM

You can help your daughter avoid entitlement by showing her that hard work is the best way to get what she wants. This will help her see she is capable and competent, and she can learn how to do anything she sets her mind to. In addition, you can help your daughter grow up with a positive sense of self and others by following these strategies:

Ages 2–3

Toddlers are learning how to find their way, albeit with you standing beside them. Most of your biggest struggles at this age are going to be over the word “no.” The tug of war goes both ways: you can say it, and so can she! Pick your battles wisely, but be aware that you’re setting a precedent now that will be even tougher to deal with in the future. So while you will absolutely ensure she has all of the healthy food, secure shelter, and unconditional love you can give her, you also need to be sure you’re not indulging her whims just so you don’t have to set limits.

If you give in to the tantrums now, your daughter is learning that if she tantrums, she will get what she wants. It is the most basic behavioral principle: reinforce the behaviors you want to increase, while ignoring the behaviors you want to eliminate. The tantrum, because you refuse to buy the doll in the store, is undoubtedly difficult to deal with, unfortunately. But if you reinforce it, it will just continue to happen. It’s the short-term win (she’ll stop screaming!) but a long-term loss (it will happen again). Figure out how to handle your own embarrassment in these situations, which may mean scooping up your daughter and leaving, and keep your wits about you. Saying no, despite the reactions, is a perfectly good answer. The more consistent you are (and ensuring that “no” is not your only answer), the more aware of the world your daughter will be, and the more appreciative she will begin to be for the things that she has.

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